Holiday in Handcuffs
by CaPtain SpOcKettE
Summary: Leah is a struggling singer working as a waitress and kidnaps one of her customers, Jacob, to bring home and meet her parents at Christmas.
1. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer: I don't own anything that was in Twilight or that belongs to S. Meyers._

_**Holiday in Handcuffs**_

_Chap1__**: Just An Ordinary Day**_

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_**LPOV**_

I had just gotten out of the shower and was pin curling my hair and sprayed it so the curls would be soft yet hard enough they'd stay at least through to mid-day. I set the timer for ten minutes so I'd know when to take the pins out so my hair wouldn't get over curled or hard and make me look a complete mess. This morning was going as it usually did every morning of everyday of my life with everything going fine which means something was about to go wrong and/or piss me off. And just then my phone rang.

I ran to get it and tripped, falling over my stupid coffee table I'd bought at a flea market. I cussed the stupid thing and kicked it before jumping off the floor and hopping over to the phone.

"Hello,"-I breathed out of breath and angry at my throbbing toes; damn I'd just painted them too.

"Tone Leah,"-oh god it was my mother; how can she meddle in my business today?

"What do you want mom I'm sort of busy?"-I asked as I sat on the edge of the couch blowing on my pained toes. Well it was too small to be considered a couch, more like thimble; I'd found this by a dumpster…don't judge.

"I'm calling to make sure you dress properly."-she said and I rolled my eyes.

"Don't roll your eyes at me."-she said sternly and I pulled the phone back and gave it the finger.

"I will dress properly. I'm a grown woman I think I know how to dress for an interview."-I said annoyed.

I wasn't exactly a failure but I wasn't exactly successful either and my parents had a tendency to sometimes point that out or compare me to my sibling and cousin who they adopted when her parents didn't want her; I see why now. I was an aspiring singer; I went to Julliard for singing which I thought was a huge deal, but according to some of my family it wasn't because a degree in singing is useless. I didn't exactly land a recording contract after graduation and have been working as a waitress for the past three years, making less than the cat that lives outside my duplex.

I'm happy with my choice just not where I am in life. Although things aren't going exactly how I'd hoped and are at a standstill, I know it's only for the moment; things would start looking up soon. Either that or I'd finally take one of those rich old perverts up on their offer and just dig me some gold; use my check to put a shovel on layaway since that's all I can afford. But in the meantime, it's wake up in my crappy one bedroom apartment in a neighborhood not even terrorist would step foot in, go to a restaurant who's food to me taste like small portions of ass and cost more than crack, and wait on the tables for patrons who don't know what they want, want too much, think they're better than me because I'm the waitress, or my all-time favorite, hit on me, compliments of perverted men…_old_ men.

"I know you know how to dress yourself sweetie, but this is an interview with a good company and I want you to make an impression. Besides, isn't this what you went to college for?"-she said in an annoyed tone.

"I went to college for singing not to be a secretary."-I huffed as I went back into the bathroom to put my facial moisturizer on. I took my towel off, tossing it and didn't see it land on my timer.

"It's at a record label."-she said as if that meant something, and no it wasn't.

"No, it's a building that has a _radio station_ on its thirtieth floor along with several other companies throughout the building. That's hardly what I went to college for."-I mumbled while applying the cream to my face and missed when the timer went off due to it being muffled by my towel and being distracted by her.

"Same thing,"-she dismissed and I ground my teeth.

"Is that all you called for?"-I asked, making it clear I was about to hang up.

"No, but I think you should wear your cute pink Christmas dress for the interview."-she said and I could just hear her smiling. I groaned and threw my head back to look at the ceiling that was leaking with hopefully water.

"Mom,"-I whined like a child. I despised that disaster of a dress she insist I wear every Christmas when we eat dinner and I hate pink thanks to her. I should just burn the damn thing.

"You'd better not burn that dress Leah!"-Sue threatened. Oh shit I didn't know I said that out loud.

"But mom I hate that dress and it's pink! I can't take anymore pink; _please_ don't get me another pink sweater or dress this Christmas! Please I'm begging you and offer my first born if you don't."-I exclaimed as I walked over to my closet where there were…forty-two pink sweaters and dresses hanging like a museum of pink tacky. I glared at them, cussing them out under my breath. One even had ducks on it!

"Oh, but sweetie you look so good in pink, just like a beauty queen. It really brings out your light brown eyes and that dress makes you look almost as good as your old mother."-she chuckled and I rolled my eyes.

"I'm not wearing it."-I said, refusing to change my mind.

"Good, you'll look so good in it; there's no way you won't get that job."-she said and I screamed with no sound, not knowing how she could control me. I checked my body to make sure I didn't have strings connected to me.

"You need this honey; your father asked Carlisle to give you this interview even though it's been years since he's seen you. He's a good friend to agree to do this even though you don't have a college degree."-she said and I looked at the phone with fire in my eyes before putting it back to my ear.

"I have a degree _mother_. It's from Julliard! And I wasn't aware you needed a degree to book appointments and get someone else's coffee."-I said as I put my panties on now that I knew what I was wearing, forced to wear. I zoned out looking at and groping my boobs in the mirror. I swear my left one is like two cups sizes bigger than my right.

"…Ok Leah?"-Sue asked; damn, she was still talking? I looked around the room as if the answer was in here.

"Uh…of course."-I chuckled nervously, then bit my lip hoping she'd bought it.

"Good, now that that's settled."-she said and I smirked; ha, she believed me. Maybe I should've majored in acting. "So you'll be here six sharp with Edward right?"-she asked as I tried putting my bra on. Don't you hate when it's almost clasped but then one side slips and snaps back and stings you in the side?

"Son of a bitch!"-I shouted; the thing hit a nerve or something. My left boob is too fucking big to fit I swear that's why it happened.

"Leah!"-she shouted and I cringed.

"Oh sorry I wasn't talking about you. Yes we'll be there six "sharp."-I said and told my bra to go fuck itself when it snapped me again. I threw it and grabbed my last clean bra which unfortunately was a push-up and I don't mean a normal push up, I mean an, I'm a B cup but look like a Z cup push-up. Wonderful; just what my already C cups need. Well, C cup and E cup.

"Great, I can't wait to meet him. He could be _the one_."-she gushed

"Uh…no."-I said lamely; damn can we date for maybe _four_ months first?

"What,"-she asked sadly and I groaned.

"I mean, yup he sure could be."-I said over cheerily. It was best to just pretend with her sometimes rather than tell her to get her head out of the fucking clouds like I usually did.

"I knew it! Well I'll let you finish getting ready. Make sure you do your hair really pretty; maybe a French roll to make you look sophisticated."-she said and I could just imagine her pumping her hair up and pouting as if she was considering hairstyle for herself in the mirror. I rolled my eyes ready to pretend again, just to get her off the phone without hanging up on her

"We'll se-oh shit my hair!"-I shouted when I remembered I'd set the timer for ten minutes, it was way past ten minutes.

"I hope you don't use that langu-"

"Love you mom got to go; see you tonight bye!"-I rushed before bolting for the bathroom.

"No no no no no. Please don't have tightened!"-I begged with my eyes closed as I hurriedly took the pins out. When I was done I felt my hair with my eyes still closed and cringed at how hard and unmoving it was.

"Don't be hard, don't be too hard, _please_ don't be too hard."-I prayed as I slowly squinted one eye open then the other. I paused looking in the mirror silently before screaming. My hair looked _terrible_; the curls were so hard and tight they looked like dark brown circular bricks.

I ran around my tiny apartment screaming, annoyed and pissed. When I rounded the stupid coffee table, you guessed it, I tripped and fell over it with throbbing toes and ankle to match and my left boob went popping out of this ridiculous bra almost poking my eye out. Who the hell needs a bra that makes you look eighteensizes bigger; men can't be that stupid to think it's real...never mind. Why the hell would Sue buy me this?

"You piece of shit!"-I screamed at the table and started beating it with my slipper. Yeah I know it would do no damage but it doesn't mean it didn't feel good to do it. I pictured the table was Sue and my slipper was a hammer.

My neighbor below me, who I hate with a passion, starts banging on his ceiling, my floor, shouting in Spanish.

"Hey fucker this is America, United fucking States of fucking America; respect it and speak English…or Quileute!"-I screamed while stomping. Stupid dick kept going.

"Keep banging and I'll call INS and have your illegal ass deported!"-I shouted while jumping up as high as I could and coming back down; I looked like I was on a trampoline and plain old crazy not to mention it hurt like a bitch. But, he stopped right away.

"Gracias,"-I called sweetly then ran, limped, to my room when I got a look at the clock. Damn and I started out early; fucking Sue! I shook my fist in the air pretending she could see me.

Once in my small ass box of a room, I grabbed that vomit inducing dress and screamed at it and threw it across the room for a little, just to make me feel better. By the time I was done and out the door I was ten minutes late, had to wear a hat my grandmother wouldn't wear to cover my hair, and had on a wrinkled, slightly torn dress, dragging my duct tape covered suitcase behind me. Oh joy I get to be me for another day.

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_**AN: **__Hope you like! I was just watching the movie __Holiday in Handcuffs__ and thought it'd be fun to do it with Jacob+Leah but with my twist of course. It's not very long and it's flowing nicely, thank GOODNESS my mojo is coming back, so I'll be posting as I finish each couple of chapters hopefully. I'm going to be out most of today, so I don't know if I'll be finished today, tomorrow or Monday but it'll be done soon, not much to it._

_The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few…so I need you to read then I need you to review…or I'll make you kiss Charlie Sheen! Yeah I bet you're going to review now aren't you *evil laugh* If somebody is so gross & disgusting as Charlie Sheen it's no wonder & really pathetic if even Lindsay Lohan doesn't want to kiss you. She refused to kiss him in whatever show or movie they were filming b/c she said she doesn't know where his lips have been hahaha! I don't blame her. Do you know how many STDs you'd probably catch just from a peck on the cheek from him *shivers*_


	2. Chapter 2

_**Holiday in Handcuffs**_

_Chap2:__** Fleeing the Scene**_

I was in my 1962 Ford Ranchero; yes my grandmother actually thought she was blessing me when she gave me this cinderblock on wheels. It moved max, thirty-five mile an hour and drank gas like an alcoholic, but had the capacity of a rat's stomach. I only drove it when I had to go short distances, yes short not long. With this thing, I'd never make it three miles before I needed more gas and it would be ten hours after I'd left for my destination. I was only bringing it with me today because my family and I were spending the next couple of weeks in a secluded spot in the woods somewhere Sue rented for Christmas and grandma Clearwater would be there and she'd bitch and complain if she didn't see me "appreciating" her generous gift. But my bigger complaint is: who spend Christmas in the middle of the woods? Sue claims it's to celebrate a job I haven't gotten yet and she thinks it will help us bond more…ha! More; when did we ever bond to begin with?

"Come the fuck on!"-I honked at the oldest woman alive as she sat at a green light. Why is she even allowed to still drive? She finally moved forward, at a snail's pace, just when a cute guy signaled me if he could cut through since he was turning. I smiled, he was cute and there's no harm in smiling, and let him pass. He winked at me when he passed and I gave a girly finger wave just as a car turned and crashed right into him, causing a small pile up; only about twelve cars, minus mine, but I was still blocked in. Damn, why does everything happen to me?

The fucker who I thought was cute had the nerve to glare at me like this shit was my fault. Everyone hopped out of their cars, yelled at each other and called the cops and ambulances. I jumped out of my car to inspect any damage.

"Great, I've got a scratch. How could I be so unlucky?"-I shouted to the sky.

"Oh you have a scratch; you must be dying in pain. By far you have it the worse out of everyone."-some bitch sassed and I looked over to her as she hovered over the old lady who was holding up traffic. She had some blood on her and was blinking rapidly.

"She'll live,"-I dismissed flagging them. Hey, it's partially her fault in the first place for holding up traffic; it seems only fair she get hurt. Besides, her life isn't exactly being cut short; she has to be about three thousand years old, she lived her life. The bitch who was trying to soothe her glared at me.

"What? Oh please if she wouldn't have gotten hurt here and possibly die, she would've lived out the rest of her what, two days of her ancient life?"-I scoffed rolling my eyes. Yeah, it was slightly heartless but I was in a mood so…suck a brick.

"It's people like you who are ruining the world."-the lady hissed; really, ruining the world? Talk about dramatic. I just gave her the finger and went to get back into my car when the stupid fool I'd let in front of me came stomping over.

"This is all your fault!"-he shouted and I spun to face him.

"How the hell is this my fault?"-I asked offended.

"You took too long to let me pass! Had you moved faster none of this ever would've happened!"-he shouted in my face; I poked him in the chest.

"Maybe if you weren't winking and flirting with me and instead paid attention to the road this never would've happened jackass!"-I shouted back.

"This is your fault!"-he yelled guilty and some of the others involved in the accident had the nerve to shout agreements, including the one that hit jackass number one's car.

"You don't even want to go there. You ran a red light dumb ass!"-I shouted at him and he turned red. "And you sir flirts a lot, were making an illegal left turn to begin with. So, all of this is _your_ faults!"-I exclaimed and pushed jackass number one out of my face since he'd forgotten to move apparently.

"Now she's assaulting people!"-the bitch with the old hag screamed as she pointed at me childishly and the crowd shouted at me as I heard sirens in the distance; good, I hope it's several ambulances because there is a crowd of people who are going to need them.

"You shut your mouth before I make you look like Martha Washington over there."-I suggested as I tilted my head at the old lady who I had a sneaky suspicion was over exaggerating to get attention or so she wouldn't be blamed for holding up traffic. Maybe I should go over and poke her wounds to see.

"You're heartless,"-the lady gasped as did everyone else. I groaned and looked at my watch.

"Fuck,"-I shouted; I was twenty minutes late thanks to this shit. "Fuck it,"-I mumbled and got in my tank of a car.

"She's trying to make a run for it! She's fleeing the scene!"-the bitch shouted.

"It's fine; she'll never get two feet in that thing."-Jackass number one scoffed with a smirk as he stood in front of my car.

I rose an eyebrow, revved the engine that sounded like a tractor, and smirked.

"I dare you."-I said, arms crossed.

"Challenge accepted."-I grinned and hit the gas.

_**J+L=J+L=J+L=J+L=J+L**_

I ran, limped thanks to my stupid coffee table that is going in the trash, to the elevator, up the hall and around the corner.

"Oh I made it!"-I breathed leaning over the receptionist desk, wheezing for air. She gave me a look as if I was dog shit and scooted back.

"Can I help you?"-she asked with her nose turned up. I pated my hat in place as best I could, fixed my dirt stained coat and stood taller in my heels that were now…_heel_ thanks to me breaking one on my run up here.

"I-" I looked at the name tag on the desk "Jessica, I have an interview with Mr. Cullen."-I smiled sweetly and she cringed. I held in my glare by pressing my lips tightly together and that's when I tasted blood. I stuck my lip out and noticed a cut. Damn I must have gotten it during the pile up. She made a noise and scrunched her face more, ugly bitch.

"_You_ have an interview…_here_?"-she asked disbelieving as she scooted back more.

"Yes,"-I hissed

"Name,"-she sighed dramatically.

"Leah Clearwater,"-I said and went over what I would say in the interview while she looked me up.

"Oh would you look at that. Your interview was an hour ago; I'm sorry but you missed it and there are no makeup interviews."-she smiled and I grit my teeth and continued to be fake much like her hair.

"You see, he's a close family friend. My father set this interview up between us and I really, _really_ need to be interviewed."-I said politely as possible.

"Nope sorry,"-she shrugged and went back to typing.

"Look, I really need this job. I mean you have no idea what I go through with my parents and family and facing old classmates on the street. It's hell I'll tell ya!"

"_Look_ you were late that's your fault. If you were responsible…and clean and presentable, you would've been here on time if it was so important to you. So save yourself _anymore_ embarrassment, if that's possible, and leave!"-she exclaimed with a dismissive wave of her hand. No she didn't!

"Oh I'm sorry I can't afford batched plastic surgery like you."- I said in her fake friendly tone she used earlier and she gasped offended but touched her nose making me laugh. "I'm also sorry I was caught up in a twelve care pile up that at the least killed an old lady. I had to watch a poor, innocent little old lady suffer. You can't hold that against me can you?"- I asked with sad eyes and even worked a tear in. She looked like she was considering.

"Yup,"-she smiled and I hissed, like literal hiss as if I was a cat.

My shoulders slumped and I sighed heavily; when I turned to leave I saw Carlisle's office where he was interviewing some loser in a too small suit. I bit my lip debating and felt myself ease to the left of her desk, closer to his door. I paused giving it one final thought and she must've noticed and knew exactly what I was about to do because she sat up squinting her eyes at me.

"Don't you dare."-she said slowly.

There was a pause before she lunged and I bolted for Carlisle's door. She shouted at me the whole way but I laughed being faster. I reached his door moments later and banged on it.

"It's me Carlisle! Remember me; I used to make you lemonade. My dad set up the interview with you last week!"-I yelled through the glass and he looked shocked then embarrassed and shocked; the loser in the suit looked ready to piss himself. Damn I didn't look that bad did I?

"I'm sorry I'm late. Just throw him out and we'll do the interview."-I said as I jiggled the handle on the locked door. I could see he pressed a button on the side of his desk then the shades started to slowly come down over all the windows to his office.

"You've accidentally hit the button for the shades to come down not unlocked the door."-I chuckled but it kept coming. "Carlisle…Carlisle? Hey let me in?"-I shouted and ducked with the shades until I couldn't see him anymore. That son of a bitch closed the shades on me!

"See if I ever make you lemonade a-" Just then I was tackled to the ground; I looked over my shoulder to see that bitch Jessica on top of me trying to hold me down. Bitch please.

"I called security!"-she breathed out of breath then squealed when I flipped us and shook her.

"Go ahead and call security; hell, call the cops, call the FBI, call the military!"-I shouted. Damn I must look crazy as hell.

"Help, help!"-she screamed in a pitch that would have a cat crying as she tried feebly to push me off of her. She tackled _me_ but wants to cry for help, ha! I grab a track from her hair just for the heck of it.

"_If you recognize the vehicle, which is very easy to spot, please alert the authorities. Do not approach her, she is considered to be dangerous, violent, and more importantly mentally disturbed."-_an anchorman said while a blurry cell phone video of me speeding towards Jackass number one when he himself told me to "come on_", _played. He'd stumbled out of the way in time, but I had to ram some of the cars around me in order to get out, then "sped" away; for once my dinosaur of a car came in handy.

"Oh shit,"-I mumbled when I thought of my car being parked, illegally, out front. "You know what, on second thought don't call the cops."-I said, released her. I went to run but came back over to a scared and red faced Jessica.

"I think this belongs to you."-I said and tried to stick her track back to her hair but it just fell. I gave a nervous laugh as she held it in front of her face gawking and got my ass out of there as fast as I could. Wait, did he call me mentally disturbed?

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_**AN: **__Hope you like! Thanks for the review, fave, and adds it is much loved. I want to finish typing this today so, fingers crossed that I can. I only have I think two more Christmas stories I need to finish & edit then I'll be done with my Christmas stories; writing has helped with my rut so I should be good to go with UD my full stories this week yay!_

_The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few…so I need you to read then I need you to review…and I'll wrap Tim Tebow and put him under your tree. Yes my sister actually asked me to put Tim Tebow under the tree for her for Christmas o_0 and I think she was dead serious lol. So many women want him I don't think for his looks but b/c for once a classy, non-tool bag whore of a guy walks the Earth. But with that comes the trashy women who what to sink their STDs into him. Kim slutty Kardashian had the nerve to go after him as if he'd look at her…um no ho you stick with Kanye that's what you deserve._


	3. Chapter 3

_**Holiday in Handcuffs**_

_Chap3: __**Waiting Tables & Surprises**_

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"You're late Le-what the hell happened to you?"-Rebecca, one of the waitresses I work with, shouted. I'd put my sunglasses on with a scarf around my head to disguise myself, but I'm sure that's not what she was referring to.

"I have no idea what you're talking about."-I said casually and limped to the employee lounge and locker area to shake out of my coat; she followed me and gasped.

"What the hell happened to you and what on Earth are you wearing?"-she asked disgusted as she plucked my dress that looked like someone's ancestors were buried in from one generation to the next but it just wouldn't go away.

"My mom made me wear it for the interview."-I hissed, motioning for her to quiet down; I don't know why it's not like everyone isn't going to see me in it anyway. Of all the days for us to not have to wear our usual shirt and tie uniforms.

"You went to your interview looking like that?"-she asked wide eyed as she moved her hand over my form.

"No…well sort of. There was an ac-situation that held me up so I was late."-I coughed as I took my hat off and she screamed like someone shot at her.

"Oh my goodness your hair is even worse!"-she exclaimed pointing at it.

"Would you shut up!"-I hissed and smiled at the workers playing cards that looked over; their mouths hung slack and cards slipped from their hands when they saw me.

"My mom once again."-I sighed as I headed towards the bathroom to freshen up.

"Damn what'd you do to piss her off?"-she snorted

"Nothing, just my mom meddling as usual; as if I can't take care of myself."-I scoffed and she rose an eyebrow while giving me a once over, so I scowled at her.

"You won't be saying that when you look in the mirror."-she said

"I can't look that bad…can I?"-I asked and she pushed me in the bathroom, towards the mirrors. I gasped.

"Who is that?"-I asked gawking. The woman in the mirror resembled me but it _couldn't_ be me it just _couldn't_! Her hair looked like snake fossils, her face was dirty, her eyes were crazy and bloodshot, her fingernails were chipped, her shoes were leaning to the left and she had on a puke pink grandma dress that had dirt grease, blood and…hair? Oh right the secretary.

"Damn,"-I cringed

"Damn is right. You better clean up before Mike sees you. He's looking to find his victim that will have to work during Christmas and you showing up late and looking like that will either have you being his victim or fired."-she said and left.

I fixed myself up best I could; I was able to get most of the blood and dirt out of my dress and skin, but the oil wouldn't budge but it looked far better than before. My hair, well, that just couldn't be helped at this point in time and my broken heel would hopefully hold with the scotch tape I put around it but I wasn't betting my life on it.

"I know you're in there Leah! I'm not paying you to take a shit!"-Mike the manager shouted as he banged on the ladies room door.

"I'm coming!"-I shouted back.

I sighed knowing this was the best I could do for now and went out to wait my tables. Time passed with me waiting my tables, trying my best to not seem annoyed or embarrassed by my appearance; the looks the patrons were giving me weren't helping with either. Since this was the time of year when family slowly began flying in for Christmas and New Years, the restaurant was a little more crowded than usual, keeping me busy. I groaned when the light Christmas music began to loop again with the same songs they'd been listening to since Thanksgiving and all the years before. I was sick of it.

"Mike when are you going to build a stage by the back wall so you can get a live singer in here?"-I asked when I went in the back to retrieve and check on my last few orders before my break. Mike rolled his eyes as he lovingly and for the millionth time dusted off the antique gun he inherited from his father who inherited it from his and so on. It was an heirloom from his great great great grandfather or something like that. He was in the confederate army no surprise there.

"How many times are you going to ask me this Leah?"-he groaned. This had to have been the millionth time I asked him this question and he knew why I was really asking.

"Until you do it."-I said as I followed behind him; he stopped and turned abruptly making me bump into him.

"While I'm not complaining about your need to be all over me, I would prefer we keep this in the bedroom."-he winked and I gaged instead of slapping him like my hand itched to do. "You really think it would work or bring in more business?"-he asked and my eyes became hopeful.

"Yes I know it would. Having a live classy singer would bring in more business like clientele. I know it will work."-I smiled

"Fine we'll do it."-Mike sighed and I squealed, happy for once and finally something was going my way.

"Thank you thank you thank you! I promise it will work."-I said and was so happy I almost hugged him…almost.

"Good, when you get some time make up a promotional sign revealing we're looking for a singer."-he said and my smile fell.

"Why would I look for a singer when there's one right here?"-I said and balled my fist when I saw the humor in his evil eyes and smirk on his stupid lips that were chapped and in desperate need of lip balm or Vaseline. He'd played me, the little bastard played me!

"You think I don't know the only reason you want me to get a live singer is so you can be the singer and _maybe_ get discovered? There's no way in hell I'm going to change my business up for a waitress trying to be a singer. Can you even sing?"-he scoffed then laughed at my face before heading back to his office.

"You b-"Rebecca slapped a hand over my mouth probably saving me from getting fired...or arrested.

"You should've seen that coming."-she chuckled before releasing her hold on me.

"He's such a dick and a little one at that. His wife must own a lot of batteries."-I said glaring after the way he went.

"He doesn't change something unless he came up with the idea or he thinks it will be profitable, so you might as well give it up girl."-Rebecca said as we headed back out to the front.

"Never,"-I said determined. I was going to convince that little dick to get a stage and let me sing; it was really my only hope at this point.

"There goes stick in the ass."-Rebecca said, tilting her chin towards the foyer where Edward was chatting on his phone; I smiled in his direction before glaring at her.

"Hey don't call my boyfriend that."-she chastised

"That's what he is. He thinks he's better than everybody because daddy is rich which makes him rich. I'd at least have some respect for him if he'd earned it himself but the fact he didn't and treats us commoners like trash is infuriating. How can you be with him; he must have a huge d-"it was my turn to cover Rebecca's mouth.

"Don't even go there and stop talking about him like that. If that were true why would he be with me?"-I countered.

"Because you're hot and went to Julliard."-she winked and went to check on her tables. I rolled my eyes just as an impatient customer called over to me.

"Waitress is that our order? It had better be we've been waiting twenty minutes."-a lady with her husband and two kids huffed rudely.

"As if you and your fat ass family are starving."-I mumbled to myself as I smiled and approached the overweight family.

"My apologizes ma'am."-I said with extreme fakeness as I expertly placed their various cuisines in front of them. The lady turned her nose up and humphed before sipping her soup like she was a queen. I almost slapped the spoon out of her fat hand and poured the soup up her nose.

"Let me know if you require anything else your majesty."-I bowed and walked backwards still bowing until I bumped into something, someone. The lady at the table gasped offended and turned her nose up even higher.

I rolled her eyes and turned to see Edward giving me a lopsided smirk, his equivalent of a smile.

"One day he'll fire you for your antics. Maybe you should take a socialite class to help with your manners and to learn the ways of a proper lady."-he suggested as he kissed my cheek.

My face fell; that isn't the first time he's suggested that and it makes me feel like shit and worthless every time not to mention pissed. The first few times he asked we got into huge arguments resulting in me not talking to him and him buying me something expensive and faking as if he was dying without me talking to him, when in reality there was an event he'd be attending and he'd need me on his arm.

"I'll pass. But what are you doing here you're like three hours early?"-I asked deciding to let it go this time since I was at work and we didn't need to argue with us heading out to meet my parents.

"I needed to talk to you and what the hell are you wearing? What is wrong with your hair? What the hell happened to you?"-he asked as he looked at me in shock and disgust.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you. But just in case anybody asks you about me, we've been cuddled together all morning before you dropped me off for work."-I said; hell I needed an alibi.

"Why would someone be asking me about you?"-he asked confused.

"You wanted to talk to me?"-I asked changing the subject; he doesn't need to know the details.

"Yes I did. About Christmas…"his voice faded out when I saw what looked like two detectives from the badges and guns that flashed as they removed their coats for check in. I watched with a pounding heart as they walked towards me, being led by Rebecca.

_Oh my God they figured out it was me driving the car! They'll never take me alive!_ I thought and grabbed Edward's hand, tugging him to the floor with me. He yelped and whisper yelled my name as I pulled him behind me with my butt right in his face as I crawled on the floor. His argument died meaning he must be enjoyed the view. People squeaked when I brushed past them or tripped over their feet. The detectives looked over as each table jumped as I passed them. When I was back by the restrooms I tucked and rolled military style and pulled Edward up and smashed him against the wall with my body as I poked my head back out to see if they'd followed me and breathed a sigh of relief when they asked Rebecca who I was and what was wrong with me before taking their seats and looking through the menu.

"Oh thank goodness."-I breathed and plopped my head on Edward's shoulder.

"You want a quick round in the stall?"-Edward asked and that's when I saw our position and felt his approval of our position poking me. I cleared my throat and backed away with a nervous smile.

"Sorry about that."-I said

"Do I even want to know?"-he asked and the look on my face let him know he didn't.

"So what were you saying?"-I asked but was sure to keep an eye on the detectives just in case they were playing some type of cat and mouse game. Edward sighed, running a hand through his hair.

"I said I can't go with you to the cabin."-he said and I looked at him shocked.

"Why? You said you would go; my parents are all excited and expecting me to bring a man, my man home for Christmas to meet them!"-I exclaimed

"Leah we've only been dating for three months."-he said

"Yes and I asked you two weeks ago. If you didn't want to come you should have told me, not agree to go and keep agreeing every day after."-I hissed; I was shocked and angry.

"I humored you, it was easiest. You don't actually expect me to go meet your parents and in a cabin?"-he said with disgust.

"You can't do this they're expecting you. I can't show up there without you; do you know what hell my life will be for the next decade if I go there alone?"-I shouted. I was becoming hysterical as I envisioned my mother, father, and sister/cousin when I showed up alone. They'll think I made him up; in their defense I did make up a past lover or two before, but that was a while ago and this time I was telling the truth. My sister/cousin Emily didn't believe I could land a guy as successful and handsome as I had described Edward and accused me of lying.

"Look Leah, this was fun but I need someone not so…you. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year."-he smirked as he brushed past me as if he didn't just fuck my life up, well not my life but with my family it would feel like it. My mouth hung open shocked, angered and scared; I stormed after him.

"If you walk out of here Edward, it's over between us!"-I shouted; the restaurant went quiet as they looked at the psycho that was crawling on the ground now shouting to a man who by the looks of it didn't even know her. He paused for a moment, gave me a dismissive look and disappeared in the foyer. My face was hot from anger, embarrassment and annoyance.

I can't believe that had just happened, he just broke up with me, he won't be going with me to the cabin to face my family! I began to hyperventilate as the world spun. My day couldn't get any worse; I took that thought back knowing when people said shit like that it always did. In the back of my mind I faintly heard a table asking for more wine as I stumbled towards the kitchen.

"This can't be happening."-I mumbled to myself. I felt the events of today bringing my emotions to a boil and felt when my sanity snapped. It was all too much and I couldn't take it. My eye started twitching like it always did when I was extremely stressed, my back started hurting and my foot and ankle was killing me. I wanted to go after Edward and beat him like a steak from the kitchen.

I leaned my forehead against the kitchen door and dread filled me when I realized in three hours I'd be making the drive to meet my family…alone. I cupped my twitching face, sighed and turned with my head hung to use my back to open the door like all depressed people do, when I heard murmurs from female patrons and followed their gaze.

In had walked a very tall man who even dressed in a suit had to be in shape. His clothes spoke of some type of success; he radiated masculinity. I watched as he was led to his table, seated himself then gave the waitress a panty dropping smile. I watched him for a minute when an idea crazy even for me had I been in my right mind popped in my head. A slow insane smile began to spread across my face and when he lifted his large hand to adjust his suit jacket that had to be Armani, I saw he had no ring on his finger. I smiled and decided no matter how off my idea seemed he just might agree and if he didn't, I'd have to connivance him. Just then someone opened the door form inside the kitchen and I fell back with a loud thud with my legs flying in the air. Thank goodness this hideous dress came with even more hideous grandma spanks.

"I'm ok!"-I shouted and I was. I wasn't going to have to face my judgmental, meddling family alone after all. He was coming with me one way or another.

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_**AN: **__Hope you like! Thanks for the reviews, & adds they were much loved. Yes Jacob has finally arrived in all his sexiness & now crazy desperate Leah has arrived as well. Thankfully this is flowing and my writers block is almost gone, but now I have too many ideas and already have like 20 that have been lined up for when I finish my current stories smh. I'd rather have that problem than writers block though *shrugs* Shouldn't be much left to this but I never say that anymore b/c ideas always pop in my head & it always ends up being longer so wh knows *shrugs*._

_The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few…so I need you to read then I need you to review…ok I just have to say when I saw Katt Williams was arrested yet again I clicked on it & this was the headliner "Katt Williams was arrested at a Subway restaurant last night while his pal Suge Knight was getting a manicure/pedicure at a nearby nail salon."-o_0 ahahahahahahahahaha that is the funniest thing I have ever read in my life hahaha! Little Katt thinks he's tough Williams in Subway while waiting for his boyfriend Suge thinks he's a gangster Knight to get his nails done lol. That's not very tough or gangsta hahaha smh still can't stop laughing! _


	4. Chapter 4

**_Holiday in Handcuffs_**

_Chap4: __**Creepy Eyes**_

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**_JPOV_**

I whistled as I made my way back to my car; I was in a good mood and couldn't wait for dinner. When I reached the car my driver opened the door for me.

"Today is a beautiful day isn't it?"-I couldn't help ask him I was so giddy; he smiled his agreement or rather hid his annoyance since this is the fourth time I've asked him today, before closing my door. On the drive to the restaurant I kept checking my watch even though we were on schedule and the time wasn't passing any faster with me checking the time every two minutes.

"We're here sir."-he announced before getting out to open my door.

"Make sure everything back at the house is in order. I want everything today to be perfect until our heads hit the pillow."-I smiled, pat him on the back and walked up to the restaurant door almost skipping.

Once inside I gave my name and was immediately led to my table and ignored the looks the female patrons were giving me just as I've always done since meeting Bella, my Bella. I sighed dreamily as I looked over the menu and couldn't help but pluck the engagement ring I'd just picked up from the jewelers from my pocket, just to make sure it was still there and because I couldn't believe the time had actually come. Tonight I'd propose to her, my Bella. Even though she all but demanded I propose sooner rather than later and told me the price range it had better be in and how big and what cut the diamonds should be and where I should propose and what color to wear, this would completely catch her off guard, shocking her and I couldn't wait.

I gave one more dreamy sigh, but then gave a manly coughed to cover it when the men sitting at the table across from me wrinkled their faces, looking at me funny. I put the box back into my pocket and adjusted my suit jacket and continued looking over the menu not even hungry; I'm too excited! I was just looking over the main courses when I heard a loud thud from the kitchen door and looked over to see a pink shoe sticking in the air before dropping; a woman must've fell. I jumped up ready to help her, but the staff in the kitchen had already run over to her. When she shouted from the floor she was good I sat back down and shrugged it off.

I decided not to order. Bella would want to see what it is I was ordering and change it if she didn't like it. She's so cute worrying about what I eat and ordering my food or throwing out everything in my refrigerator and restocking it with...healthy foods; always looking out for me that one. After a moment I felt eyes on me and looked around the restaurant but didn't see anyone staring, so ignored the feeling of being watched.

After another minute passed I couldn't shake the feeling, so I tapped my fingers as I casually looked around the restaurant and almost jumped when I saw a pair of eyes peeking at me through the kitchen door. I stiffly turned back around and debated on asking for a seat change or calling security. Deciding to just ignore it, I ordered a glass of wine. A couple of minutes after the waitress took my order, I felt eyes on me again and pretended to brush something off my shoulder and looked over at the kitchen door again, seeing two sets of eyes staring at me this time. When one of the sets of eyes saw me looking they disappeared behind the door but those creepy eyes from before remained a little longer before abruptly pulling back. I looked around to see if anyone else noticed but they were all eating and chatting.

Thankfully my waitress came back over with my drink because I really needed it; I didn't miss the fact her eyes matched a pair of the eyes that were just watching me. I nervously took my glass with a shaky hand that shook so much I spilled a little wine on myself.

"Oh I'm so sorry sir let me help y-"

"No no that's not necessary, besides it was my fault! I'll just go wipe it out in the bathroom before it stains!"-I said jumping up. She might not own the very creepy eyes, but she still had watched me so there is no way in hell she's touching me.

I quickly walked towards the restrooms and smiled at the attendant before taking off my jacket and began cleaning up. I hummed to myself as I once again pulled the ring from my pocket and smiled on another happy sigh.

"Ah, proposing to the love of your life?"-the attendant asked as I dabbed my jacket dry; I smiled and put it back on.

"Yes, finally after two years together I'm making her the Mrs."-I said with pride; he chuckled nodding.

"When you know you know; that feeling in your gut won't stop flipping and your mind won't stop thinking about her. Her eyes will make you feel like you're under a spell, a spell you never want to be broken. You don't need her to hint it to you or have people start asking when, you just know and it feels right. I knew my old lady was the one when I couldn't go one day without seeing her and when I gave up Sunday night football so she could watch her stories. I really knew she was the one when I lost everything in one of the many recessions and she moved me in her home and took care of me until I got back on my feet. I rushed out and bought the biggest ring I could find when my stock went up and never looked back. That's how you really know, they sacrifice for you and when they stick with you no matter what. My Donna, she stuck with me."-he said lost in his memory with the biggest smile a man could wear when thinking of his love.

I gave a small smile, frowning when I thought about Bella and I's love. I always give up things for her but I can't ever remember her giving up or postponing anything for me, not even a nail appointment. I'm always the one to make sacrifices and I'm not completely confident she wouldn't leave me in a heartbeat if I dropped one zero in my bank account. She goes weeks without any contact and most of the time I'm relieved rather than upset like a man about to propose should feel. And sometimes I feel like I'm looking at the devil or the White Witch from Narnia when looking in her eyes.

"Good luck son. I'm sure she's an amazing gal, not my Donna but amazing all the same."-he smiled and pat me on the back. I forgot I was even still standing in the bathroom and brushed of my negative thoughts and doubts suddenly consuming me and tipped him a hundred. He was nice and I'm sure he's only working here because his wife was tired of him since he retired.

"Thank you and buy your wife something nice on me."-I winked and he waved.

"Will do!"-he called and I chuckled and walked out into the hall lost in thought about proposing, but as I got near the side kitchen door I felt those eyes again and my heart rate sped up as I slowly stopped and looked to my left to see those eyes! I jumped before I could stop myself.

"Hi,"-the voice whispered and my eyes widened.

"Uh…"-I drawled at a loss of what to do. All I could see were those eyes, those _creepy_ eyes, nothing else as she or whoever hid behind the door.

"How tall are you, is that an Armani suit, and what are your plans for Christmas?"-the voice asked and I sputtered and slowly went around the door where the crazy person lurked. The door opened more slightly when I passed and I gave a low sound of surprise and alarm.

"No don't go I need you."-the voice whispered desperately and I sped away before whoever it was could reach out and grab me or something. I raced back to my seat and guzzled what was left of my wine then called the waitress over for another. I won't drink anymore because I don't want to propose to Bella drunk, but I needed this last one.

While waiting for the waiter for the bartender to pour my drink, my waitress Rebecca kept whispering into the door and shaking her head, stealing glances at me. That's not good; creepy eyes must be talking to her. She shook her head once more before grabbing my drink and came back over. I felt a little better knowing whatever creepy eyes told her she disagreed with so she can't be completely creepy.

"Here you go sir."-she said sweetly while shaking her head probably thinking of creepy eyes. I nodded and sipped my drink. After a few sips, suddenly something bumped into me, spilling my whine on my shirt again.

"Wonderful,"-I sighed just as a person holding a menu that blocked their face, raced towards the restrooms.

"You can't have to take a shit that bad."-I mumbled to myself as I stood and made my way back to the restrooms. I walked cautiously, hoping to escape those eyes.

"I need you."-a voice, _that_ voice, said and I froze.

"Look whoever you are I don't know what exactly it is you need from me but I can't help you."-I said.

Suddenly the door burst open with a…woman? Goodness what was wrong with her? I screamed and jumped, smacking into the wall. She looked…awful. Her hair was, is that even hair? She had on the ugliest outfit I'd ever seen, her face was twitching and her one of her shoes was pitifully held together by duct tape.

"I need you to come with me."-she smiled with her face twitching.

"Hell no!"-I exclaimed and her face dropped and for a second I felt bad, a second.

"But, but I need you to come with me to the cabin to meet my parents."-she said desperate.

"Why the hell would I go with you anywhere? I'd never be seen again you'd probably eat me or offer me up as a sacrifice to your cult leader or something."-I said and her sad desperate face, that I hate to admit and have no idea how but I thought it was kind of cute, fell for a second and I almost recanted. But, then her face turned angry, she was hot when she was angry if you looked past the smudges on her face, her fossil hair her great great _great_ grandmother's dress, and face started twitching. Her crazy must be rubbing off on me if I was thinking this.

"What did you just say?"-she grounded out as she slowly crept towards me with a limp as if I was a prey she was about to pounce on. I pressed against the wall as much as possible; I tried to make a dash for the bathroom but her hand shot out, slammed me against the wall and boxed me in. I'm going to die in the hallway of a restaurant by a crazy woman.

"Don't you ever say that again."-she hissed

"Well if you weren't crazy and scary as hell I wouldn't have had to! Get off of me lady!"-I exclaimed and debated on screaming for help, risking a spot on my man card. She pounded her hand beside my head and I jumped and squealed; whelp there goes the spot.

"I need you to come with me to the cabin for Christmas to meet my parents. They expect me to show up with this handsome, rich, successful guy. If I show up alone I'll never hear the end of it! My family will start butting in even more, criticizing me and trying to match me with their friends' sons!"-she exclaimed

"Why the hell would they expect _you_ to show up with anybody especially a _man_?"-I asked; they thought she could get somebody? What are they on?

"Because I was supposed to show up with my boyfriend, but now I can't."-she said looking hurt, then angry, then desperate. Damn she seriously needs help.

"You actually have a boyfriend?"-I asked shocked and she glared at me something fierce and stood over me; damn she's tall…and scary.

"Yes I have, had, a boyfriend but we decided to go our separate ways."-she said

"Shocker,"-I scoffed and she slammed me against the wall by my collar; damn she's strong too!

"You are coming with me and you're going to pretend to be my nice, charming boyfriend who dotes on me. Am I clear?"-she hissed, face twitching. I swallowed and was tempted to nod, but then remembered I'm a man, a man a head taller than this crazy woman. I grabbed her arms and flipped our positions. She gasped and I leaned in but paused when I smelled her. Damn she smelled good; I felt myself about to close my eyes and inhale but shook my head clearing it.

"I don't know you, don't want to know you, and I sure as hell am not going to actually get in a car and go somewhere with you. I see why your boyfriend dumped you."-I said

"It was mutual!"-she shouted and I gave a skeptical look; she mumbled to herself not looking me in the eye.

"I'm sure your family won't be surprised you show up alone."-I said and she looked hurt for a second and I felt a ping to my gut and wanted to apologize but reminded myself she had me pinned to the wall a second ago and that she was crazy; those eyes got creepy again but full of fire too. We just glared at each other for a second with me noticing with a little, a lot, of work she might actually be slightly presentable; if only in looks. Before she could speak I backed away and went to the bathroom.

"Back again?"-the attendant chuckled as I cleaned up.

"Yeah I spilled again."-I sighed

"It's just the nerves it happens to the best of us. I was so nervous I dropped the ring down a drain and had to fish it out with a wire hanger. That's just more signs she's the one."-he reassured me. I just smiled deciding not to tell him about the psychotic waitress; he works here so he might know her or be crazy himself.

"You really love your wife."-I said as I did a once over; he just couldn't stop talking about her. I mean I love Bella but I can go two minutes without gushing over her. But it was still pretty amazing that after all these years he still regarded her in such a way.

"Yes I do. If it wasn't for her stubbornness and always challenging me I wouldn't be the man I am today. Trust me in sixty years you'll be the same way."-he chuckled and I smiled and bid him goodbye. I was so lost in thought, again because of the old guy what is with the workers at this restaurant, that I forgot all about _her_.

I paused and looked up to see her standing in the middle of the hall with her arms hanging stiffly by her sides. She squinted her eyes at me and squared her shoulders; I did the same. It looked like a standoff in one of Clint Eastwood Western movies.

"You're coming with me."-she said taking a step forward.

"No I'm not."-I said doing the same. This is s bazar; I was actually beginning to be entertained by this crazy woman.

"Last chance pretty boy."-she smirked as she took another step forward and wiggled her fingers.

"I am _not_ a pretty boy! I'm ruggedly handsome and the answer is still no."-I exclaimed taking another step. I'm a lot of things: gorgeous, devilishly good looking, but pretty I am not; that's for girly men or men who look like women, I'm all man. We stood there glaring at each other before I decided I'd had enough.

"This was fun and all but I think I'll get back to my table where other sane people are."-I said and took a step to the left but she did the same. I paused then moved to the right and she followed; I faked left and right a few times and she did the same. This was getting ridiculous. I sighed and walked right up to her and glared down at her; she stood there defiantly.

"Look you psycho I'm not coming with you and that's final. Now move it!"-I shouted; how no one has heard or seen us is amazing.

"No,"-she said jutting her chin out defiantly as she glared up at me.

"What are you going to do?"-I scoffed smirking; what was this woman, tiny in comparison going to do-

"I said you are coming with me."-she said low as she pressed something into my stomach. I looked down and my eyes widened when I saw what looked like a gun; it's old as hell but it's still a gun. She poked me with it and my eyes widened more. That's when I noticed there were a few blood spots and hair on her dress and her knuckles were bruised. How the hell did that get there and what happened to her hand? Oh my god what the hell did I get myself into!

"Start walking."-she hissed, face twitching as she pointed her chin towards the Emergency Exit. My mouth hung open as I turned around and slowly started walking. My goodness she really is crazy…and violent. I'm being kidnapped by a psycho waitress with fossil hair!

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_**AN**__: Hope you like! Thanks for the reviews, adds, favs, & alerts they are much loved. I always the when authors take years to write their stories and months to update s I can't tell you how much I hate that I can't update as much as often and have become just that smh *cries* I'm trying to really start getting stuff out like I used to. Every time I go to write it seems something gets in the way smh *sigh*. But I'm determined to get these stories updated like I used to and finish them so I can start on my other million stories. I'm going to do it * pounds fist determined*!_

_The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few…so I need you to read then I need you to review…or I'll make you breed with Michael Lohan. Every time I turn around this fool is in the media smh. He just had ANOTHER kid with some chick how's obviously a fame seeker/media whore. She was with John Gosling o_0 How desperate is this loser smh. They both should be neutered. _


	5. Chapter 5

_I know it's late & short, but this chap is dedicated to ****__moniquinha_.**_linda_** _kisses!_

_**Christmas in Handcuffs**_

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_Chapter5:__**I'm Trippin**_

_LPOV_

After they helped me off the floor I stood by the door and sized up Mr. Armani; he was definitely coming with me, he was perfect! I cleverly hid behind the kitchen door and watched him, completely hidden from sight; he was none the wiser he was being watched. I saw other women eyeing him and couldn't help but roll my eyes; even the fat bitch with her nose in the air was slyly looking over at him as if she had a shot in hell or Jenny Craig or as if her husband wasn't sitting right there. As I observed him I tried to pick up on what kind of character he had so I'd know just how to approach him and smoothly convince him to accompany me to the cabin. He seemed good looking and confidant enough to act as my boyfriend. Stupid Edward! I wouldn't be going through this if he wasn't a jerk, this is all his fault! I will get him for this I swear! My face twitched as my crazy began to rise, so I took deep breathes and resumed watching my new "boyfriend".

When Rebecca came over to place his order I asked her about him and we slyly watched him from behind the door, ensuring we weren't seen. She gushed about his looks before telling me his reservation was made for two under the name Black, he had a deep sexy voice, no ring on his finger, and he smelled amazing. He should definitely keep my family off my back; all I had to do was convince him to come with me for Christmas, which should be easy enough if I use my charm. The only problem was he was meeting someone, probably a business partner or something, but after I convince him to come with me I'll just have him call and reschedule so they don't think he was hurt or anything; I already have the cops on my ass for the accident no need to add kidnapping.

Rebecca went to the bar and got his wine and went back to serve it to him, but he seemed jumpy and spilled some on his shirt. When he walked back to the bathroom to clean up, I decided it would be the best time to ask him since he was alone and secluded, instead of just going over to his table. I'd look like a crazy desperate woman just randomly walking up to a strange guy to ask him to come with me to meet my parents; no this was more casual and he'd feel less threatened or out of place. I was going to be very cool, not stalkerish or aggressive. I went to the side double doors and waited. When he walked back out from the bathroom I didn't get a chance to really ask him what I wanted to and he must not have heard my questions or me say I needed him or had a call because he quickly went back to his table, almost running. When he ordered anther drink, I asked Rebecca to spill it on him again so he'd have to go back to the bathroom and I'd be able to get him alone and really ask him to come with me this time, but she wouldn't do it. So, I decide I'd do it myself. I grabbed a menu and snuck around the room just by his table and when he lifted his glass, I quickly bumped into him then dashed back towards the bathroom before I was spotted.

I used my charm to ensure I didn't come off crazy and it seemed to be working; he was warming up to me. That's why when he suddenly snapped I was shocked and hurt but pissed! Who the hell does he thinks he is? We went back and forth with me winning, but I was completely shocked, and a little tuned on if I'm honest, when he flipped us, pinning me against the wall with his hard body. We just stood glaring at each other for a moment and I saw him checking me out and I think sniff me of all things. He wanted me and wanted to help me, he was just in denial or was he looking at the blood and hair I couldn't get off my clothes and smelled gasoline from the accident?

When he dismissed me and went to the bathroom I was hot, oh I was hot! I tried being nice, I tried compromising, but he wouldn't listen. I paced with my face twitching trying to think of something and that's when Mike's old ass Civil War gun hanging on the wall caught my eyes.

"_No Leah that's just crazy_".-I told myself but next thing I know I'm standing in front of it with it in my hands. Oh well must be fate_._

"_You are not this desperate. Now put the case down and walk away; you're better than this."-_I told myself and sighed, hanging it back on the wall.

"Leah your sister called and left a message; it's by the phone."-Rebecca said and I went in the side room to get it: _Don't forget to put new batteries in I'd hate for him to die before you get to the cabin. I'll see you and Mr. Rabbit, I mean Edward when you get here. Can't wait to meet him.-love Emily._

I grit my teeth and didn't realize I'd been gripping the note so hard it ripped and wrinkled; I balled it up and threw it on the ground stomping on it, screaming. You see what my family does to me? When a busboy came through he looked at me like I was crazy. I smiled and threw it in the trash as he slowly carried on. The bitch thinks I'm lying about Edward and I'm dating a vibrator, a vibrator! Did I mention I fucking hate her? That was it, Mr. Armani was coming with me and by any means.

I marched back to the gun with anger searing through me; I hesitated for a moment before taking down the case and quickly, carefully taking out the gun and stashed it in my hideous dress. In my defense it's only for show and doesn't actually work after all these years, but he didn't need to know that and it will still serve its purpose if he refuses.

I gave him one last chance but he refused. After our Texas standoff and him getting in my face I was sick of this and done being nice and pulled the gun.

"Start walking."-I hissed as I poked him with it. His eyes widened and he slowly turned around and started walking towards the emergency exit with his hands up.

"You are the most c-"

"Shut up!'-I exclaimed and jabbed him for good measure.

"You honestly think no one's going to see what you're doing? We're in a restaurant full of people in a high priced, heavily secured neighborhood. We'll never make it to the sidewalk."-he said over his shoulder with an air of smugness. I jabbed him harder.

"Would you stop it?"-he hissed as he rubbed his side.

"If you shut up I won't have to hit you!"-I exclaimed and nudged him forward just when the side door burst opened and Mike came out. I panicked and quickly slammed Mr. Armani against the wall and threw my arms around his neck with the gun hid under my arm and kissed him. I don't know what the hell I was thinking. His eyes widened and he struggled against me, weakly because let's be real he can overpower me if he really wanted to, but I harshly bit his lip making him gasp breathily; that was kind of hot. If I didn't know any better I'd swear he enjoyed that.

"What the hell is going on here?"-Mike yelled and I pulled back to smile sheepishly at him, searching for something to say.

"Oh gosh I'm so sorry."-I said, feigning embarrassment; he squinted his eyes and stepped forward.

"Is he hurting you?"-Mike said pointing at Mr. Armani; what is his name anyway?

"N-no, no we uh, he uh…I slipped…and fell…on his lips?"-I said stupidly and they both looked at me like _girl what_. I bit my lip, straightened my dress, and cleared my throat. Mr. Armani loosened his tie and wiped sweat from his brow; he looked kind of hot disheveled, but he's still a jerk.

"Well, you have a table that needs another bottle of wine, so get your ass over there."-Mike said, eyeing us suspiciously and disbelievingly.

"She's trying to ki-"-I "tripped" and kissed Mr. Armani again when he tried walking around me to tell Mike I was "kidnaping" him. I am not kidnapping him I am escorting him out the door against his will and forcefully making him get into my carat gun point to take him to a secluded cabin in the woods which he doesn't know about or want to go to. Completely different.

"Whoops I tripped again."-I breathed when I pulled back and gave him a dirty look of warning; he glared at me while wiping his face.

"Actually Mike something just happened and I'm go-"

"Yeah you pulled a gu-"-I "tripped" again, smashing my lips to his, but this time I pushed him stomped on his foot and pushed the gun into his back and we angrily mumbled at each other while glaring, never breaking the kiss. This time he bit _me_! I gasped utterly shocked and he took the opportunity to shove his tongue in my mouth; I was too stunned to slap him, he'd probably enjoy it anyway. At his point Mike can't possibly believe I was actually tripping and falling on this guy's lips.

"Maybe you should change your shoes. Is that duct tape?"-I faintly heard Mike say; I was starting to actually enjoy the kiss when the bastard pushed me away.

"Uh yeah. I'm not feeling too well-"

"Or looking it."-Mr. Armani rudely interjected and I sent fire at him with my eyes.

"Maybe I should just go home."-I suggested with a huge smile and Mike looked so confused and suspicious it seemed he knew everything and I bit my lip to keep from spilling what was really going on.

"Usually I'd object but you looked fucked up. Go home and when you come back after New Years have your shit together."-he said as he slowly walked away, shaking his head and sending us looks over his shoulder before disappearing through the doors.

"No wai-umph!"-Mr. Armani tried to call out for help, so I hit him in the stomach with the butt of the gun, making him hunch over.

"Are you crazy?"-he gasped wide eyed.

"Yes I am; have you not noticed!"-I exclaimed, eye twitching. He suddenly shot up, scaring the shit out of me and making me squeak, and grabbed me by my arms, pulling me to him. He was getting a little too comfortable grabbing on me.

"I've had it! I am going to pick you up, toss you over my shoulder, and bring you right to the police station so they can lock your crazy ass up and give you shock treatments!"-he shouted and poised to lift me; I jumped back.

"Oh I don't think so Mr. Armani".-I hissed glaring.

"Oh yeah? And how are you, a woman escaped from the mental institution, going to stop me, a huge, muscled gorgeous man?'-he scoffed; was he serious?

"Guess,"-I smirked and his eyes widened when I tapped his crotch with the gun. "Let's go pretty boy"-I hissed and started rushing him to the exit.

"Stop calling me pretty! Go ahead make me open the door, it'll just make the alarm go off."-he said cocky.

"No…it won't."-I said as I opened the Emergency Exit and we walked through; his mouth fell open as he looked around wildly.

"What the hell? Why didn't the alarm go off?-he said angrily.

"Mike's cheap ass only bought a sign _Emergency Exit_, he didn't actually have one installed. Hell the fire extinguishers aren't even real they're pictures of them mounted on the wall. You thought you were so clever didn't you?"-I laughed and he ground his teeth and huffed.

"First you stalk me with your creepy eyes, then you corner me, then you assault me, then you _sexually_ assault me, and now you're kidnapping me at gun point! You're just adding on charges like Kim Kardashian adds on STDs. Now I need rabies shots!"- he complained.

"Sexual assault, rabies shots!"-I shouted offended, stomping in front of him; he glared down at me and pointed his stupid finger in my face. I should bite it off.

"You kissed me and with the way you look and how crazy you are you could have God knows what."-he said as he wiped his mouth and spit for good measure. I balled my fist and waved the gun in his face as I spoke.

"You jerkoff jackass I did _not_ sexually assault you nor do I have rabies and I only kissed you because I didn't want Mike to catch me. Besides I didn't hear you objecting!"-I shouted and he looked shocked and embarrassed before glaring at me.

"How could I? I couldn't breathe with you smashing my face and your horrible breath and your man like strength had me pinned to the wall! I knew Amazons were strong but damn!"-he said and I got in his face.

"Need I remind you it was you that shoved your _tongue_ down my throat and after you bit my lip!"-I said whipping my neck around; all I need is a hand on my hip and a snap of my fingers and the look would be complete. He looked guilty but recovered quick enough.

"I didn't see you struggle or hear you complaining."-he smiled smugly as he got in my face; my face turned hot from anger and embarrassment.

"You mean like when I bit your lip?"-I said just as smugly and his smile fell as he turned a little red and huffed.

"Don't ever put your lips on me again you psychopath!"-he said

"My pleasure jerkoff!"-I said and poked him. We glared at each other and for a split second I swear I saw his eyes dart to my lips before looking back at my face. I stepped back and hid the gun in my coat that I'd snagged on my way from getting the gun and motioned for him to walk around to the front.

"Don't try anything funny."-I warned as we rounded the corner to the busy sidewalk, just up the block and across the street from the employee parking area where my car was. We walked with people gasping and jumping out of my way as if I was on fire or staring like I was on display in an exhibit.

"Didn't your mothers ever teach you it's rude to stare?"-I shouted at some old coupe and they scurried away.

"Real nice you're scaring old people now. You're a real people person."-Mr. Armani scoffed, rolling his eyes. I glared at him and we keep walking. A few women gave him seductive smiles and he smiled back; I didn't like it and I didn't like that I didn't like it.

"Back off bitches!"-I hissed at a group of women and they scrunched their faces up and walked away. I am not jealous I just find it rude I mean I'm standing _right here_ how do they know we're not together? He looked down at me and I could just fee his shock and accusing, but I avoided him by looking straight ahead. Some redhead that was eyeing him in the restaurant came switching over and I felt my face twitch slightly.

"I'm sorry to bother you but my phone just died would you mind if I borrowed yours?"-she smiled and he looked down at me before smiling and reaching in his pocket.

"Why sure it's no problem at all."-he said with that pantie dropping smile that made me grit my teeth; he looked at me smirking before smiling at her again. She giggled and made sure to touch his hand when she took it; I grit my teeth.

"You smell good what is that you're wearing?'-he asked in a deep husky voice leaning in to sniff her. Oh please; I rolled my eyes.

"It's called seduction."-she said seductively; how corny; I rolled my eyes again and sighed loudly.

"I think it might be working."-he winked and sent me a look just trying to get a reaction; the bitch laughed and touched his arm. Oh please! I gripped the gun, lightly debating on which one to use it on. When I saw a cute guy walking by I decided to join in and tapped him on the shoulder working my magic.

"Excuse me I-"

"Oh God take it!"-he all but shouted getting everyone's attention and I looked at him confused.

"What a-"

"Don't hurt me just take it all!"-he exclaimed, tossed me his wallet and ran off. My mouth dropped open and I was a mixture of raw anger and embarrassment, more so embarrassed. I didn't even want to turn around to face Mr. Armani who would be as smug as a smug cat being smug. And what do you know when I turned around he was looked smug. I grit my teeth and tried hiding my embarrassment; damn that sort of stung. I can't possibly look that bad. I looked down at myself and shook my head; damn I did. Armani's face kind of fell when I looked up again, but I just looked away beyond embarrassed; maybe I should shoot that jerk.

"I'm almost one hundred percent sure that's not how it works."-he whispered in my ear and I jumped not having expected that. My eye twitched and I angled the gun so he could see it, making his face completely drop and eyes widen. I snatched the phone from the lying redhead; I saw the bitch dial the weather.

"Go use a payphone."-I hissed and grabbed his arm to leave.

"Excuse me? Is this woman with you, she _can't_ be with you! Do you need me to call the cops"-she said disgusted. Bitch you don't even have a phone! Fuck it the gun must still work and I'm about to find out.

"Yes she is actually."-Mr. Armani said, shocking both of us.

"Oh that's sweet you do charity work"-she gushed and I aimed the gun at her and he saw.

"No I don't"-he said and seemed a little annoyed with her; he grabbed my arm and pulled me to him and pulled my coat back over the gun before anyone saw.

"Not as much charity as your surgeon did with your uneven boob job!"-I exclaimed. I would know about uneven boobs since I swear mines are. She gasped and slowly covered her chest. It's winter but her boobs are out give me a break.

"Would y-"

"What was that?"-I asked as I jabbed Armani with the gun. He threw his hands up.

"Oh and he's my boyfriend bitch."-I sad to the embarrassed redhead and yanked Armani by his arm and kept walking towards the parking lot.

"Your boyfriend?"-he hissed

"Yes my boyfriend and I suggest you remember that before we get to the cabin."-I hissed back and nudged him with the gun. He grinded his teeth looking angry as I did the same.

"I told you don't try anything funny."-I warned again with my eye twitching so much it could work as a vibrating massager. He glared at me but saw my gun and twitching eye and kept his mouth shut. We walked a few steps before he suddenly looked straight ahead and seemed thoughtful and that made me nervous.

"I wouldn't dream of it."-he smiled down at me and started whistling as we weaved through the people; he is way too cheery for my liking. He looked down at me and winked and damnit if I didn't know if I should be worried or turned on; fuck it I'll be both.

* * *

_**AN**__:__ Hope you like! I am SOOOOOO sorry it took so long but I've had an exam literally every week for the last month and midterms and things were just CRAZY. Then I started writing but kept hating what I hate so I'd erase it. I'm not 100% sold on this one but it wasn't too bad & I need to update more frequently. Only 3 more wks of class then I'm UD all my stories all the time & writing new ones *happy dance*. THANK YOU for all the reviews, adds, faves, & alerts they were much loved & mad me fee guilty :( I've been going crazy wanting to U my stories & write my dozens of new ones & I promise I will. _

_The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few…so I need you to read then I need you to review…I just want to throw a shout out to anybody in Massachusetts & U.S. after we were horribly attacked by two dicks. We're not called UNITED States for nothing; we stand together as citizens when f*ckers like this try to take over & destroy our country & ppl. It's sick & will not be tolerated. Shout out to law enforcement & troops keeping not only U.S. safe but the world against these types of bastards!_

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